Study the candidates
I’ve got to say that I’m honored. A Colorado political group is promoting me as the most powerful state representative ever … assuming I get elected first, of course.
It’s a heady thing to be given complete control over federal programs like Social Security and Medicare in my first term as a state representative. Already the power has gone to my head, however, as I won’t be a benevolent dictator; I’ll be the kind who likes to see our elderly suffer.
Such are the intimations of a group called Accountability for Colorado, which has sent out at least two direct-mail pieces attacking me in the last week or two. In the first, we see a lovely picture of a kindly elderly woman walking 151 miles to Denver (with a walker) in order to get to a hospital. In the second, an elderly gentleman is bungee-jumping off of a platform with a cord that has snapped – apparently as a result of something I did – and he is plummeting to the bottom of a gorge. That’s right, Accountability for Colorado seems to be suggesting that I would kill people if I were elected.
It looks like I’ve gotten off easy when it comes to being a target of this group of (ahem) concerned citizens. Accountability for Colorado has run a direct-mail campaign against a Republican in Weld County with a picture of a nuclear bomb exploding, suggesting the candidate has a seriously jumpy trigger finger and access to nukes. (You would think this would hurt his re-election chances, what with no surviving constituents.) Perhaps I won’t be the most powerful legislator after all.
Accountability for Colorado has also run a direct-mail piece in support of my Democrat opponent, Roger Wilson, implying that Roger’s a swell guy with no murderous designs, which is comforting.
People have asked me if it makes me mad that these goofballs over at Accountability for Colorado are using such outlandish tactics. Of course not! Folks, this is some great entertainment, and I respect that. It’s all the funnier because these people sincerely believe they’re doing something worthwhile. (What else do billionaires like Tim Gill and Pat Stryker have to do with their money, anyway?)
But here’s the deal: Roger Wilson is a swell guy. Kathleen Curry, my other opponent who is a former Democrat, is also a kind and good person. And I really don’t think that I’ll have either homicidal tendencies or full, tyrannical power once I’m elected.
The truth is, Roger, Kathleen and I have run a good, clean campaign. We disagree on policy, but we’re very respectful and cordial toward each other. We just cannot control what independent groups do or say.
My hope is that you, dear voter, will take a little time to learn about each of us and make your decision based on some actual information. Please visit our websites and see why we each want to work for you in the Colorado State House of Representatives. Roger’s site is rogerbenwilson.org and Kathleen’s is kathleencurry.org. At my website, voteluke.com, you can read all about what I will and won’t do as your representative, and you can send me an e-mail (email@example.com) or give me a call (970-901-0440) so that we can have a chat.
In the meantime, when you see another piece from those funny people at Accountability for Colorado, I hope you have a good laugh. I know I will.
Candidate for Colorado House District 61
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