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Soothing letters

Dear Editor:Where does Aspen Times columnist Roger Marolt get off being the Grand Scrivener, accusing earnest letter-to-the-editor writers of composing paint-thinning manuals?I graduated from Tom Thumb University with advanced degrees in wheedling and blarney, and I know fascinating reading when I see it. Furthermore, I studied holy rhetoric at Bob Jones University and was reborn and raised in Colorado, and I’ve lived in Aspen for longer than God knows, so what I say must be true. Of course I wouldn’t stoop to argumentum baculinum (of the cudgel), the argument of brute force, as Mister Marolt does, but according to Gurdjieff’s International Poets’ Dictionary, columnist rhymes with Communist.And when the morning coffee is too strong I find nothing more soothing than to read the letters about zoning details and community swimming pool faults. Thank you letters from the Ketchup Foundation for the great show of support also top my list, as well as the many kudos for spayed kitten drives.Becoming finally convinced that one person is absolutely right, after following he/she/they-said letters to the end of time, I often find myself seething at the wrongdoers or shouting “Did you read this?” in Café Ink, and I rush out looking for a re-vote petition to sign. In diatribe, personal attack and contradiction pointer-outer letters, lots of Gonzo similes and mixed metaphors impress me. Without an exaggeration in each sentence a letter writer or columnist is not clever enough.Most of all, though, debate-ending Bible quotes always knock my socks off. Tim CooneyAspen


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