‘Slow news day’ in Aspen | AspenTimes.com

‘Slow news day’ in Aspen

It’s not always easy to pick a topic for our twice-per-week editorials. Sometimes things just seem to go fairly well in Aspen, and even though the City Council and other decision-makers are faced with weighty matters, there are only so many things to say about the moratorium or the damned traffic.According to Aspen Times lore, former Publisher Bil Dunaway used to run into this problem periodically, and would often use those “slow news days” to urge local restaurateurs to serve their meals on warm plates. Anecdotally, it seems that most local eateries have either taken his advice or chosen themselves to warm their plates. Ah, the power of the press!Bearing in mind Dunaway’s warm-plate editorials, we’ve assembled a menu of suggestions. Individually these items don’t really merit headlines or 700-word tirades, but collectively we believe they could make a difference.Here goes. We hope that:1. Local drivers will slow down and stop tailgating, especially on Highway 82. Enjoy the scenery, folks.2. The J-Bar’s management will ratchet back prices, or even announce a nice offseason lunch special.3. The “new” Red Onion, if it comes to fruition, will keep Meatloaf Mondays.4. More locals will throw spontaneous, unofficial games, contests and other random happenings in town. Some group of loonies recently held a capture-the-flag match in downtown Aspen, without so much as a special event permit! Anyone want to reinstate the Art Cart Derby?5. State legislators will dub John Denver’s “Rocky Mountain High” the Colorado state song. It’s not the “Battle Hymn of the Republic,” but everyone knows it and loves it. Is there a petition we can sign?6. City Councilman Torre will tell us exactly what he stands for, and what he would do as mayor, since nobody seems to know. 7. Coach Mike Sirko will lift the Aspen High School football team over .500.8. Some deep-pocketed donor comes along to help KAJX meet its fund-raising goal, so we can return to the full menu of NPR programming.9. Al Gore runs for president, since it seems he’s happier and more popular than ever before.10. Snow continues to fall in copious amounts through March, making for soft, carveable snow until the lifts close.