Recycled TP for everybutty |

Recycled TP for everybutty

Dear Editor:

Andy Stone and I have been in Aspen for a long time, and if he could remember, he would remember me. I usually agree with him on his ramblings in his column, but his off-handed comment on scratchy toilet paper in the last column is adolescent, ill informed, and down-right stupid (“I lie awake, scared by a nightmare of … trees,” March 4).

In the weeks ahead I plan to start an Aspen-based, nationwide campaign to eradicate antique T.P. (made from living trees) from the face of the earth, and I plan on dragging the old farts, like Andy, kicking and whining into the 21st century.

The recycled T.P. of today is perfectly fine for everybutty out there, and once this situation is rectified, the world can then work on saving the rest of its forests that have been decimated for our other fleshly fancies. Andy, we have to talk if you think any of the steps needed to save this planet don’t apply to your soft, lily-white rear!

Mark Hesselschwerdt


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