On the sidelines: The indignity of a lousy fantasy team | AspenTimes.com

On the sidelines: The indignity of a lousy fantasy team

My fantasy football team is in the same shape as the Denver Broncos. In other words, it’s a disaster.

I’ve had a few stinkers mixed in with a few fabulous teams and a lot of middle-of-the-pack clubs over the years, but I can’t remember having a lineup so bad that I was out of the running by November.

I got bitten big time by the injury bug. I gambled and took quarterback Peyton Manning when he fell to the third round in our draft because of uncertainty of his condition. As it turns out, he probably won’t play a down all season because of a neck injury.

My first-round pick fared little better: Running back Jamaal Charles lasted until the second or third game before suffering a season-ending knee injury.

Mix in a few boneheaded personnel decisions on my part, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. I’m 300 points behind the leaders, for cripes’ sakes.

The only advantage is a team this lousy doesn’t keep me up at night. When I have a competitive team, I’m always wondering what trades I should make to make my team better, and I stress out over setting the weekly lineup, convinced that one poor week will ruin chances at fame and funds.

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Like any true sports junkie, I’ve found a reason to remain interested in the fantasy football season despite the sorry state of my team. Our league punishes the team owner with the fewest cumulative points for the season by making him or her buy pizza at the draft the following year. No one wants to blow $80 or so. More importantly, no one wants to be known as “Pizza Boy.”

Fortunately for me, a lawyer in our league has a team that stinks as bad as mine, so far. We are wallowing in the cellar in what’s been dubbed Pizza Bowl, and as of this week I’ve got a two-point advantage.

I tell myself things could be worse: I could have Tim Tebow as my quarterback.

scondon@aspentimes.com