On the Road: Market forces | AspenTimes.com
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On the Road: Market forces

Joel Stonington

It was supposed to be a good Monday off: biking, having breakfast, singing aloud to music on the way downvalley, all with the cutest, coolest girl in the universe.Some might call what happened bad luck or bad circumstances. I’d call it market forces.Me and the honey got off to an early noonish start. We packed up our bikes on the roof rack and headed down to Carbondale for lunch at the Village Smithy. For me it was breakfast. The omelet was quite yummy.In order to digest, we decided on errands first, exercise second. Big mistake. First, we stopped at a bike shop but didn’t find what we wanted. The clouds looked menacing when we walked out, and already the weight of shopping was like wearing a jacket of lead. Then we went to Target to return some stuff and make a circuit of the mega-store.Now, I don’t know about all y’all, but for me, there are few fates worse than spending time in Target. The seconds rolled by slowly, and when we finally trundled out of that behemoth, two hours had slipped away like drool. My muscles had actually atrophied during my time in Target and it was difficult to walk to the car. At that point, m’lady realized she had forgotten her helmet and I realized I had forgotten my biking shoes. Unhappiness ensued. The sky looked just about ready to burst. Biking plans were all but forgotten. So we went to Safeway and shopped for groceries. Just pushing the cart was almost too much to bear. I looked longingly at tables laden with muffins, because I thought I just might be able to go to sleep under one. Just as we were putting away the groceries, the lightning and thunder hit. Biblical flood conditions began as sheet after sheet of rain rolled over the car.At almost that exact moment, the shopping caught up with me, and I spontaneously combusted.


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