On the lawn: Garage sale a pain in the … | AspenTimes.com
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On the lawn: Garage sale a pain in the …

In the world of outdoor karma, I got what I deserved last Saturday.After accumulating junk in the attic of our current house for 14 years, I insisted this spring we have our first garage sale. Some time ago we set the date for Saturday, May 20. It turns out that conflicted with the Ride for the Pass, an event I’ve participated in more often than not. The family commitment won out, but I approached the silly sale with a sour taste in my mouth.Things went downhill from there. As the 8 a.m. start of the sale neared, I snarled at my daughter to quit messing around getting numerous toy horses, saddles and gear ready for display. “Concentrate on the important things,” I snapped, looking with despair at the mound of clothes and items that needed to be priced and set out in the driveway. (Her horses went fast.)I had been warned to watch for sneaky shoppers who would show up early, hoping to grab an early deal. But 8 a.m. came and passed without a bite. By 8:30 I was cursing myself for not just making a trip to the dump.A short time later our first shoppers arrived and inflicted immediate injury. A woman bought The Big Blue Chair, a Lazy Boy recliner that I secretly hoped wouldn’t sell. Although its comfort defies description, it was a victim of interior re-decorating.I dropped my grudge against the buyer of the chair when she and her colleagues assured us not to worry about the lack of a crowd. It’s early, they said, and veteran garage groupies were probably checking out the all-subdivision sale at Blue Lake first.Those darn Blue Lakers, I thought, they dominate everything in the midvalley through sheer numbers. We decided to ride their coattails and plaster a couple of signs in Blue Lake advertising our sale.For whatever reason, we ended up attracting shoppers in waves. Thankfully one Latina cleaned out half of my daughters clothes and numerous toys for her family. Other buyers snagged an entertainment center and shelf unit that I dreaded the thought of dealing with again. A “free” sign strategically planted when the sale ended at 1 p.m. did the trick.Alas, I couldn’t avoid back-breaking duty. While reaching awkwardly to move a piece of furniture, I felt a searing pain in my lower back. Like Caesar betrayed by Brutus, I was certain my wife or daughter had slipped in a knife in revenge for forcing the sale.I’ve spent the entire time since the sale slightly bent and walking like a crab. We made a few hundred bucks at our first (and last) garage sale. Let’s see if it covers the chiropractor’s bill.


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