On the hill: Cirque jerks | AspenTimes.com

On the hill: Cirque jerks

Chad Abraham
The Aspen Times,
Aspen, CO Colorado

SNOWMASS – There’s a line at the Cirque.

I wonder if there’re any jerks at the Cirque.

Because one time there was a Cirque jerk. The jerk had a foreign tongue, and he tried to barge past me in line. I cockily shoved back at this Cirque jerk, which is what you do when you encounter jerks at the Cirque.

Cirque jerks lead to awkward situations, but, thankfully, they are rare. You may ask yourself, what should I do if I encounter a jerk, be it at the Cirque or any other of the Skico’s family-friendly lifts or pulls. You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here, to quote the Talking Heads.

Yes, handling a jerk at the Cirque can be tricky. It’s not as if one can master every possible language a jerk may be speaking, so as to be able to tell him, “No, STOP! That’s not our custom around these parts.”

To master all the possible tongues in a Cirque jerk is wishful thinking. So I think the best possible way to deal with a potential jerk is to nip it in the bud. Do what I did and surge ahead forward. Body language is universal, and it worked. The Cirque jerk got behind me, waited his turn and then loudly sang in his exotic language all the way up the pull.

True story. Jon, the sports editor of this fine newspaper, can confirm that there was a Cirque jerk recently. Just ask him.

Are there other ways of handling jerks? Of course. If you’re the timid type, stand back and let them go first. But this was a big group, which would have meant a lengthy wait. And it’s not my style to be a wallflower.

In fact, I come right out and write about Cirque jerks. Because once you understand the confusion inherent when a jerk enters the Cirque, the easier it is getting on with the business we’re all there for in the first place: having fun.


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