Old school, meet new school | AspenTimes.com

Old school, meet new school

Dear Editor:

Hear ye, hear ye! An old school “extreme” ” before extreme was even listed in Webster’s fine book of words ” event is rising from the ashes of old! Or at least I am pushing and greasing the wheels in hopes of making them spin again.

“What the hell is he talking about?” is the question you are asking yourself right now! Answer: Aspen’s finest mountain patrol force ” Highlands Ski Patrol and snow safety gurus ” once soared in flight like the mythological phoenix! The flight pattern was shorter, equally impressive in altitude, but they never nested and ignited themselves as mythological legend depicts. “The bird [the phoenix] was also said to regenerate when hurt or wounded by a foe, thus being almost immortal and invincible ” it is also said that it can heal a person with a tear from its eyes and make them temporarily immune to death; it is a symbol of fire and divinity” (Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia).

Cloud Nine-Highlands Patrol Deck Jump! Dats what I’m talkin’ bout! New school lingo attempt there, but I’m 38 and out of the loop! With or without the patrol sled in tow! No pressure! It takes more then balls to boost a “Booter Crunk” (again new school lingo attempt) over a flat, splintering, wooden deck of death! OK, so it may not be as booter crunk as the booter bottom hit at Buttermilk/ESPN X Games. However, none of those next-generation-ripping youths are towing 50 elbows (lbs., pounds) of fiberglass and aluminum that haul the broken youths off the mountain when they come up short, bust asspen, and break bones on the booter crunks of present day.

Heed the rally call. Throw in your two cents of feedback. See Mac at Highlands and his epic pics! If you don’t know or never heard of Mac Smith, then I suggest pulling your head out of your asspen! Get the permission slip signed, load up on the short bus, and take a field trip to Highlands and learn something new today. All jokes aside, it was once fun in the sun, suds in the solo cup, 205 centimeter sticks soaring overhead, hell of a good time.

New School Version: Cloud Nine ” AHP Deck Jump ” my vision. Sun is shining high above a mid-March afternoon. Booter crunk erect, racked and salted. Vandals, Guttermouth, and other epic punk bands rocking on the deck. Anyone and all who sign the no-bulls–t, don’t-care-if-your-daddy-is-a-lawyer-representing-you-pro-bono waiver, soaring overheads of the gleeful, awestruck spectators below. Lots of free product/swag tosses, certainly some swag puffers, and happy Bud-swilling spring breakers who will go home and tell legendary tales of a journey to the Highlands. This vision is open to discussion and alterations assuming feedback is received.

The election is over and like it or not, it is what it is. Editorial columns are meager and minimum. Let’s rally the troops, forget about the corporate bailouts and enjoy some old-school tradition in the new millennium. The wheels have begun spinning!

Enjoy the light!

John Norman


Support Local Journalism

Support Local Journalism

Readers around Aspen and Snowmass Village make the Aspen Times’ work possible. Your financial contribution supports our efforts to deliver quality, locally relevant journalism.

Now more than ever, your support is critical to help us keep our community informed about the evolving coronavirus pandemic and the impact it is having locally. Every contribution, however large or small, will make a difference.

Each donation will be used exclusively for the development and creation of increased news coverage.


Start a dialogue, stay on topic and be civil.
If you don't follow the rules, your comment may be deleted.

User Legend: iconModerator iconTrusted User


Aspen History: Mother’s Day in Aspen’s Quiet Years

“‘Mother’ is the greatest word in all the languages and it represents the greatest personage in all the world. Let us try and appreciate HER from this time on,” proclaimed the Aspen Democrat-Times on May 8, 1919.

See more