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Nazis on teles

Kevin BurtonAspen, CO Colorado

Since I work the night shift, I sometimes have a hard time finding something to watch on TV after work – even with a Comcast DVR. Since my girlfriend works days, I usually take the late-night opportunity to watch ESPN, the NFL Network or professional wrestling. Seriously.Thursday night, however, I was skimming past AMC at 1:30 a.m. and came across “The Heroes of Telemark,” a 1965 Kirk Douglas vehicle about Nazis on skis. Actually, it’s based on a true story of the Norwegian heavy water sabotage during World War II.Basically, Norwegian resistance fighters sabotage a water plant in Telemark, Norway, which the Nazis used to produce heavy water for construction of nuclear bombs. Douglas – still spry at age 50 – plays Dr. Rolf Pedersen, a Norwegian physics professor caught in the struggle. There’s a lot of skiing, shooting, skiing, explosions and … skiing. Though, it doesn’t have the all-star cast of “The Dirty Dozen” or the nifty tunes of “The Bridge on the River Kwai,” Not a bad flick – great skiing shots from Norway. And Douglas in his prime, fully equipped and free-heeling it on some vintage teles – oh, and rocking plenty of nordic sweaters – just waxing SS all over Oslo. “I am [Norwegian] Spartacus!”Let me tell you: The divot on that man’s chin is Hollywood’s Rock of Gibraltar. It rivals Meteor Crater in Arizona. I mean, I waited the whole movie thinking Starman was going to track it down, looking for the mother ship.The rest of the movie wasn’t that bad, if you can get past the Nazis, who were a little too “Hogan’s Heroes”-y to truly hate. I thought I saw Col. Wilhelm Klink at one point. “American History X” – now there’s some Nazis I can really get behind hating. I’d even let Bob Crane make a dirty movie about it. The movie doesn’t deliver a tichler line, but does offer words to live by: ” Don’t you ever make the mistake by underrating the Germans. By any means.”


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