Lead with Love: Separation is an illusion 

I first came to Bhutan on my honeymoon in October of 2010. At that time, I celebrated my 34th birthday here and was captivated by the culture and beauty of this tiny country nestled between the behemoths of India and China.

This October, I celebrated my 48th birthday in Bhutan as a guest of His and Her Majesty the King and Queen of Bhutan, as my husband and I endeavor to help His Majesty with his vision to build a Mindfulness City here. I am captivated once again and feel there is no better place to be while I witness, from afar, the most divisive election cycle in my lifetime in the United States.

Bhutan is a Buddhist Kingdom where the spiritual elements of Buddhism pervade every aspect of life. One of the main tenets of Buddhism is that separation is an illusion and that it is the root cause of suffering. Every time I dip into the news cycle, mostly on my Instagram feed or my hand-picked news app on my phone, I suffer from the illusion of separation, and I perpetuate it by sharing things that seem to prove that my view is “right” while others are “wrong.” I feel the righteousness of my views. It is momentarily satisfying to feed my ego in this way and to see who agrees with me. But, the more I feed the illusion of separation, the more I suffer. The Buddha was right!

Luckily, there is an antidote to the suffering caused by the illusion of separation in Buddhism called The Eightfold Path. It is similar to yogic philosophy and the observances of the yamas and niyamas. I won’t get into the details here except to share that I know better, and yet, I choose daily to indulge myself in thinking that causes suffering. I think most of us do, especially at a time when fear and anxiety over the future of our nation and the world is so high. 

I do believe there is a clear choice in this election that will lead to more freedom and equality, and I did go to great lengths to get my ballot sent overseas and to vote. It is important not to get lost in spiritual principles and check out of civic duty. The important thing is to cultivate the wisdom, discernment, and discipline to take right action from a place inside myself that recognizes we are all interconnected and to let go of attachment to the result. No matter what happens in our country, and furthermore the trend toward more right wing, nationalistic dictatorial leadership globally, I know that my work is inside myself to wake up to the illusion of separation and to act accordingly.

Being in a country that focuses on Gross National Happiness versus Gross Domestic Product and is steeped in Buddhist values helps me to relax my mind. With symbols like the endless knot depicting the interconnection of all things everywhere I look, I can clear the static and tension in my mind and know there really is no right or left — the only place to go is up. 

An enlightened mind is an elevated mind that sees beyond the illusion of separation and chooses, every moment of every day, to act with loving kindness, compassion, and love. May we remember the truth that we are all one, vote and exercise our civic duty to choose candidates that will help create a more enlightened society, and do the inner work that is essential, so that peace may prevail on earth no matter who wins. 

Gina Murdock is the Founder and Director of Lead with Love, an Aspen-based non-profit dedicated to nurturing and supporting heart-centered leaders through their Care for the Caregiver’s program and transformative retreats and classes worldwide, including Bhutan in 2025. For more info, visit ileadwithlove.org.