John Colson: Hit & Run
Nice weather we’ve been having, eh?Woke up this morning (my deadline is a few days earlier than publication day) to a cool 35 degrees Fahrenheit, according to Steve Cole, our morning host on KDNK-FM in Carbondale.Of course, it’ll be twice that by early afternoon, so we get to go from bundling up for our work commutes to stripping down while at work, which is nice exercise of both the mental and physical varieties. I mean, we have to plan ahead, dress in layers, maybe take two pairs of shoes with us on the morning commute and then burn all those calories actually changing clothes several times over the course of the workday. Not aerobic, maybe, but we take our exercise where we can get it these days, right?Wait – if I added a wool knit cap with ear flaps to that description, it would almost sound as though I were talking about winter.Odd.Already, twice so far this year, I’ve gleefully announced to friends, “Well, that was a nice summer while it lasted.” Once was back during a warm spell in either late February or early March.The other time was, let me see, when was that? Oh, it was this morning!And, come to think of it, Cole mentioned something about covering up the garden plants to make sure we don’t get frost damage.It all fits together so nicely, this climate-change thing.We were getting into such a rut, expecting our summer to follow spring, fall to follow summer, etc. It’s OK – you can admit it. Just say it with me:”Climate change is good for us because it gets us out of that stale old routine of one season after another.” Now we get lots of seasons every year, none of them very long and none of them quite like what we’d gotten used to.Why, it’s a brave new world out there! All there is for us to do is reach out and embrace it, make it ours and stop all this whining about whose fault it is!So what if the world’s scientific community believes climate change is being hastened, if not caused, by the amount of junk we’re pouring into the air? What do they know? Were they here the last time this happened? What if it really was caused by dinosaur farts the last time, as one scientist has postulated? That’s Mother Nature at work, right? Just like it is now, right?So just get over it, and let the corporations get on with their business.And once you do, just imagine what a boon this climate-change thing will be to clothing manufacturers. No more slavish attention to the seasons because we’ll never know what season to expect from one week to the next. So the textile shops in Hong Kong, Tijuana, the Philippines and other industrial centers around the globe can just concentrate on one set of proletarian wear, good for all temperatures, water resistant and durable as hell.Maybe we can get rid of the idea of fashion altogether, at least for the people who actually work for a living. It’s all such a distraction, don’t you think, this choosing what to wear each day? Taking our minds off our work or our favorite reality show on TV?Yes, if we all could just dress sensibly, uniformly and consistently without dealing with those bothersome seasons and the ups and downs of the fashionistas, how happy we’d be! And if our clothing was all the same color, of all the same fabrics, how simple life could become!Of course, the managers and the owners, they’d be dressing in their own styles, but that’s only natural, isn’t it?And before you say it, no, I am not talking about uniforms or totalitarianism or anything like that.I’m talking about American know-how, our innate ingenuity for solving problems and getting things done regardless of consequences (aside from profitability, of course). There really are no consequences, just little problems to be solved in order to keep getting the job done.Am I right?Anyways, nice weather we’re having, email@example.com
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