In the (stationary) saddle: This workout stinks
August 14, 2009
ASPEN – My workouts usually bring the sweet smells of fresh, crisp morning air, newly cut grass and wildflowers while running or hiking. But due to an injury, I’ve been regulated to the gym.
Last week, I jumped on the Precor machine next to a skinny guy wearing a red outfit who was going to town on the machine. It looked like he’d been on there for hours, judging from his sweat-drenched T-shirt.
After about five minutes into my workout, another indicator came into play: The guy’s body odor was enough to make a pig blush. It definitely was enough for me to get off my machine and move to the end of the cardio deck and hop on a stationary bicycle. I thought about suffering through it since I was just reaching my anaerobic state, but the guy was giving me a headache, and that’s no way to start your day.
After I dismounted, I looked at the guy behind us. I pinched my nose to signal how intolerable it was and nonverbally question how he could stand it, but I don’t think it registered.
After 15 minutes of being the other side of the room, I watched one of the regular gym rats hop on the same Precor I had been on. I wondered how long she’d be able to take it. To my surprise, she stuck with it.
I saw her in the locker room later and asked her how she did it, and why in the world she would subject herself to that horrendous odor. She told me she realized the problem fairly quickly but was already in the groove so she endured the pain. (Apparently he was farting as well.)
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The guy I had gestured to earlier was working the front desk by the time I left. He said he had finally realized what my signal meant and agreed with the summation. Luckily, the guy was just visiting and wouldn’t be a permanent fixture, I later learned.
Here’s some advice: If you are going to go full tilt on a Precor for nearly two hours within 2 feet of other people, put some deodorant on and save the flatulence for the locker room. Oh, and have some respect for yourself and others around you. You stink!