If TV is evil, then this flat screen is Lucifer’s spawn | AspenTimes.com

If TV is evil, then this flat screen is Lucifer’s spawn

The biggest pain about getting a flat-screen TV is getting rid of the boob tube it’s replacing.

In this case, we had to dispose of our Sony Trinitron TV.

The thing was a beast. At one time, it was at the top of its class ” a crisp picture on a relatively big screen. But now these Sherman tanks have become obsolete, and nobody wants them.

Sure, I could have redeemed one of my company perks by running a free classified ad in this newspaper in an effort to peddle the thing for $50, but I was also mindful of another behemoth of a set that sat in the downstairs of The Aspen Times for nearly a year. Even the homeless people who crash here on occasion ” when we forget to lock the doors ” wouldn’t take the TV set, presumably left by a Times employee who thought he or she was doing someone a favor. He or she wasn’t.

So at the end, I lugged the Trinitron out the door, through the backyard and down the stairs, and finally into the back of our Subaru. Its final destination was the alley behind The Thrift Shop. It’s probably still there.

But when one armoire door closes, another one opens, and so it did for my brand-spanking new Sony LCD digital color TV, or Model KDL-32L4000, for those keeping score at home. Before I gush about the stellar picture quality, let’s just say this fine piece of machinery is lighter than a six-pack of Fresca.

Because we were limited on the size TV we could select because of the armoire in our den, we could not opt for those humongous 40- and 50-inch flat screens. It’s just as well. Thirty-two inches is fine, especially when you have an HD cable box hooked up to it.

And besides, this Sony was well within our budget ” in this case the budget reserved for my 40th birthday. I’d been badgered by my better half for more than three months about what I wanted for this supposed landmark birthday.

And then it occurred to me, just days before the LSU-Florida football game, that a flat screen was the way to go. So we went downvalley and found a pretty good deal at a chain store known for sweat shops, poor employee benefits and a once-eccentric owner from Arkansas who continued to drive a beat-up pickup until his passing.

Just minutes before kick-off, I had the TV ready to go. But he is the fool who buys a flat-screen TV just before his beloved team is to play. Surely LSU’s 51-21 spanking at the hand of the Gators was because of the new TV. The next week the Tigers beat South Carolina, 24-17, so last Saturday their record on the new TV sat at 1-1.

Presidential debates, World Series games, SNL and Letterman have all been enhanced by the new Sony. But if you’re going to acquire one of your own, you must get HD service to go with it. Otherwise, these flat screens are just like any other TV, albeit 200 pounds lighter.

Also, keep in mind that if TVs are evil, then flat-screen TVs are the very children of Lucifer. Mind you, I was going to review my new North Face trail running shoes in this space, but I haven’t gotten off my ass for two weeks. I’d love to blame it on the newborn and the all-consuming election season, but that would be untrue.

It’s all your fault, Sony. Maybe there’s a class-action suit in the making.


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