How to look busy when you’re slacking | AspenTimes.com
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How to look busy when you’re slacking

Jon Maletz
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This is the stuff that is conveniently omitted from college syllabi.Big-business types may say they have your best interests at heart but, in reality, they do not. Even corporate language is created in order to foster a feeling of inferiority and to make company initiatives sound more important than they really are. Your company wants you to support their profit-making without, in most cases, reaping any of the benefits.

Therefore, if you have nothing to gain by working hard, do you really have much to lose by doing nothing?Corinne Maier, French author of the international bestseller “Bonjour Laziness: Why Hard Work Doesn’t Pay,” says no. I question whether her theories ring true outside the world of big business but I am, nevertheless, intrigued. Thank you, Miss Maier; I’ve been working far too hard for far too long.

Curious how to feign diligence? It’s an art form, and Maier has all the secrets. In a corporate world built on uniformity and unanimity, it’s important to participate as little as possible. If you disagree with something, don’t allow yourself to be singled out. Instead, think about what you’re going to have for dinner.Next – I hope you are taking notes – never walk down a hall without a document in your hands, Maier writes. Follow this rule and you look like a hardworking individual headed for some important meeting. Make sure you’re not holding a newspaper – you’ll look like you are headed for the restroom. And always make sure to carry loads of paperwork home each night, which generates the false impression you work extended hours.It’s still important to strive for upward mobility, Maier writes, but for a different reason than one might think. When you’re on the bottom rung of the corporate ladder, you spend the vast majority of time doing the work for those above you. Then it stands to reason that when you move up, you do a lot less work. I can’t argue with that. Plus, when you reach upper management you get better furniture, which is “irrefutable proof that your firm loves you more than some of your less-fortunate colleagues.”

Maier tells her readers that what they do is ultimately pointless. “You could be replaced any day of the week with the first moron who walks in the door.” I’d like to see that moron try and cover a high school swim meet.In short, it is in our best interests to work as little as possible. Besides, Maier writes, nobody likes to work. If we did, we’d do it for free, right?The French word for work is actually derived from an instrument of torture. Coincidence?Maier delivers an enlightening page-turner and some practical information – just don’t let your boss see your copy.


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