How about a ski race, Mr. Luhn?
April 5, 2002
First, a warning before you start in with me, Mr. Luhn: You’ve gotta know what you don’t know.
It seems that there was a time a few years back when you publicly expressed a flirtatious tenderness toward a somewhat infamous female letter writer that later turned out to be a phony. She broke your heart and nearly got you banned from the editorial pages.
Alas, we can’t cry over spilt milk. As the true identity of that person was never found out, wouldn’t it be ironic if it could be proved that those letters that aroused your amour were actually penned by a man?
Hmm … that could be embarrassing.
Now, on to other business. So, you have some cockamamie idea in your head and you want me to pony up $500 bucks and take a lie detector test.
You newcomers are all alike. You try to solve every petty issue that comes up in this town by throwing cash at it. We better hire some attorneys, too. If we waste enough time and money with this, we might be able to see that we’re going to end up right where we started.
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No thanks! I’ll take the old Aspen way. Let’s have a ski race!
Roger “T.C.” Marolt