High art | AspenTimes.com

High art

Dear Editor:

In view of the recent fundraising deficit at the Aspen Art Museum. Fifteen million, are you kidding me? That might take some time to raise that kind of “caish.” Years … so I got to thinking what does Aspen do in the meantime? Then the light went on. Basketball courts, two playground style courts on the now-vacant dirt lot.

I’m thinking one court would have Andy Warhol’s “Campbell’s Tomato Soup Can” painted on it and the other Michael Angelo’s “Creation” (God touching Adam’s finger). You know, very artsy. Then on the backboards in the layup square we have classic art such as Van Gough’s “Starry Night,” Da’vinci’s “Mona Lisa,” “Little Kitty” and the all-time masterpiece “Dogs Playing Poker.” For fencing, multi-colored chain link. Easy to put up and easy to take down. Dirt-lot problem solved.

Then I’m really thinking how does the AAM raise money? Then the bolt of lightning hits me. Imagine this, “Slugs on Drugs.” This is an interactive piece on the same track as hacking kitty in half and spray painting it black. You bring in 400 banana slugs from northern California. Then place a huge easel (down at the current AAM) under black light. Then you ask all the local pot dispensaries to donate “product” and ask some of our young local twin-tippers and snowboarders to volunteer.

The volunteers would smoke blunts while wearing their brightly colored ski attire and blow the smoke on the slugs. The slugs would be placed on the easel and do what slugs do, leave intricate designs of slime on the easel. Voila, “Slugs On Drugs.” If you want to add a little color, feed the slugs packets of Kool-Aid. Now that’s art.

OMG, there has to be some billionaires that will buy that cra … err … art.

James H. Perry