Haims: Aging — what’s important is fairly clear

When you were between your 20’s and 30’s, what did you want out of life?  

Depending upon your current age, this may take a moment to recollect — honestly recollect. Taking into account your current ability reflect with years of learning and experience, how would you have answered that question during those years of life?  

It’s more probable than plausible that love, money, and health topped the list. In what order though? At that time of life, being rich likely may have led the order. If not, no big deal. That’s not really the point here. Did happiness make your top 3? 

The relationship between age and happiness has long been studied and debated.  In 1938, during the Great Depression, scientists at Harvard University developed a visionary study called the Harvard Study of Adult Development. The study’s goal was to find out what makes us happy in life. 

After about 85 years, the results of this study are congruent with more recent research.  Published in 2020 for the National Bureau Of Economic Research (NBER), working papers titled Happiness and aging in the United States also supported the findings of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. Further, a more recent study published just this year by Cambridge University titled Happiness and Age – Resolving the Debate support the premise happiness and ageing have a positive correlation. 

While there is debate about the reasoning, research supports that there is a midlife low or U-shape curve. While some research data suggests the lowest point of the happiness curve happens between the ages of 20 to 30, other research suggests the lowest point of the curve exists somewhere between the ages of the late 30’s to early 40’s. 

Regardless of identifying an age range where a low point exists, it is clear that one exists and, at some point, people’s happiness meter rises as they age. The reasoning for this is debatable.  

Personally, I buy into a theory that the low point of a happiness curve may well be during a time of life when the stresses of preparing for one’s future are formidable. When we’re around our 30’s and 40’s, and the world was our oyster, many of us established self-imposed life goals and achievements.   

However, the fear of not meeting our expectations may have been daunting. The realization that achieving one’s goals could actually take longer than anticipated, could all contribute to a low point in happiness. Further, it’s possible that during this time of life when we are working our “plan”, we are going it alone and compare our successes and failures to others. This rarely works out well and can add to one’s happiness stressors.  

When we are young and impetuous, we often lack the awareness, wisdom, maturity, and perspective to understand that our sense of satisfaction and fulfillment do not revolve around comparisons, money, and career choices. There will always be someone better, or smarter, or wealthier, or happier. When we let go of self-imposed expectations and no longer have to figure out who we want to be, we become more realistic about the ups and downs that come during life’s journey and feel good about who we are 

Consistently, most studies conclude with the finding that the top factors that leads to happiness as we age are relationships with people that make us feel good about ourselves, people that accept us for who we are, and people that help us feel good about the world around us. 

As we age, we often find that we have fewer personal responsibilities imposed upon us. Thus, we can choose the responsibilities that we enjoy and say no to ones that may be associated with stressors and anxiety. Often, as people age, we experience what psychologists call the age-related positivity effect—an increasing focus on positive events and happy feelings. 

Biological and psychological evidence makes it clear; we need good cognitive resources to age well. Therefore, fostering healthy relationships along with caring for our physical and mental well-being is imperative. Spend time with friends and loved ones that make you feel good.  

More than money, career successes/failures, or physical condition, close relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health and overall well-being.  

Judson Haims is the owner of Visiting Angels Home Care in Eagle County. He is an advocate for our elderly and available to answer questions. His contact information is VisitingAngels.com/comtns and 970-328-5526.