Crime pays in Aspen
After last week’s verdict in the Holman trial and others in the past year, it seems clear what Aspen’s next ad campaign should be: Dear rapists, perverts, violent drunks and misogynists of all kinds, come to Aspen! We have the greatest juries here who can be convinced of almost anything by your defense attorney! (They specialize in blaming the victim around here.)
The juries really understand how mean everybody can be to us and how much better you feel about yourself when you can beat up, rape and terrorize someone weaker. They really have a lot of compassion, especially when you get on the stand and cry and whine more than your victim! They understand how if you’ve been drinking, any crime is not really your fault, but if your victim has been drinking, that kind of makes it all her fault!
Anyway, it’s easy enough to convince the jury that women should be used to that kind of stuff and it’s not that big of a deal. And even if you’re a police officer who has taken an oath to serve and protect, they understand that that of course doesn’t apply to your own family. So, come on! It’s open season on women around here. After the past few trials, it would be surprising if the smart ones even bother to report you!
Theresa St Laurent
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