Becoming green through annoying phone calls | AspenTimes.com

Becoming green through annoying phone calls

Dear Editor:

As a plumber would say, “Is this Fluxed up, or what?”

Each day in this great nation, telemarketers call homes trying to sell random items to names on a call list! That is the capitalistic way our economy works. Sell things to people that don’t even need, much less can afford, what you’re trying to sell them, BUT, they can charge it on the plastic for only three easy payments of $29.95! Then pay 19 percent interest on the credit card and it will only take them six years to pay off that $100 item.

When I owe an outstanding bill for medical care (because your insurance only covers one of your ass cheeks … if that much!), why all the carbon producing, mail-room filling, paper wasting, land-filling envelopes of invoices and notices. Sure! I know … I owe … so off to work I go! Seriously! I have the bill, I know I need to pay it, but have not! Instead of sending me another bill or four, why not have an out-of-work telemarketer make a courtesy call and save a tree or 40! It could cost no more money and be less waste producing than bill after bill after bill after bill.

Sure, some of you are saying, “Why not just pay the bill Norm?” and I will tell you this: Sometimes I am waiting on job payment from the wealthy second mansion owners for services rendered while on my knees … laying tile that is!! Get your mind out of the gutter.

If you can bother me at 6 p.m., interrupting my Hungry Man beef tip with potatoes dinner for things I don’t want, then why can’t you call me when I DO owe you money and try and be civil about the matter. Maybe. “Hello Mr. Norm, this is Mrs. Payupsuker from Dr. Upya’s office. Our records show you have been billed for services and the account is still unpaid. We wanted to make sure you received the bill, and, if necessary, discuss payment plan options to help both parties reach a happy resolve to this matter.”

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That would be swell! Much more “green” than all that other paper trail nonsense.

Oh well, just a thought that was keeping me awake last night. A thought for you to dream on from the brain of Norm! Have a great day!

John Norman

Carbondale

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