Be wary of Yogi
September 8, 2002
Stretching and breathing regimen to calm Aspen schoolchildren instead of more Ritalin? “Yoga Ed” in the classroom for more relaxed, focused students?
Hard to believe “parents in the [Aspen School District board] room told the board they would pull their children out of the district if the yoga program is taught.” And local religious leaders vehement that there is “spiritual or religious underpinning” in this threatening prospect.
Yeah, it’s the off-season.
With all the dangers assailing adults and their kids now, I would have thought yoga would be at the bottom of the list. And topping the charts would be the kind of religious fervor marshaled against this NEW THREAT. I just wasn’t aware that yoga instructors were as desperate for converts as most Western Christian religions.
That said, I must admit I’m biased. I’ve been a devotee of Yogi since the late ?50s. I was young and ripe for conversion, as these Aspen youngsters must surely be.
What we refer to as “The Enlightened Ones,” from the honored Hanna-Barbara Studios, teach an integrated way of life that greatly appealed to me in those formative years. Our tenets are simple. We believe:
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We are smarter than the average bear. We’re always in the ranger’s hair. Have a picnic table, you will find us there, stuffin’ down more goodies than the average bear.
We sleep ?til noon, but before it’s dark, we’ll have every picnic basket that’s in Jellystone Park. We have it better than a millionaire. That’s because we’re smarter than the average bear.
Be brave Christians.