Barry Smith: Get your Moto X running, head out on the sidelines | AspenTimes.com
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Barry Smith: Get your Moto X running, head out on the sidelines

Random Personal Randomness From the X Games:* The announcer was pumped. Fully pumped. Dude. And from atop the Moto X jump he let us, the not-so-pumped crowd, know that in just a moment he needed us to “generate about 60 seconds of mayhem” because there was a “TV thing” going on.On his cue, the cameras lit up and the crowd went all mayhem-ismal. In what I decided was the true spirit of “alternative” sport all the individualism and stuff I only generated about 15 seconds of mayhem. Hey, I make my own rules, man. I might have been able to squeeze out another five seconds of mayhem if the free samples they handed out at the Mountain Dew tent had been a little larger.I don’t know, I kinda like to spread my mayhem out a little, make it last all day.* Cold, cold, cold That was my mantra as I stood out in the cold, watching the snowmobile freestyle jam late Monday afternoon. My shaking hand held my tiny video camera over the crowd, pointed in the general direction of each sled as it launched off the metal ramp and sailed the gap to the snow-built landing area.Then I witnessed in person what I had previously only heard about a backflip on a snowmobile. Holy! For a moment I forgot about the loss of feeling in my extremities and was able to generate a full 23 seconds of mayhem.Distraction is good medicine.* I’m not ashamed to admit that I watched the men’s snowboard superpipe finals an amazing event which was walking distance from my house while sitting on my couch, next to a fire, wrapped in a blanket. Each time the camera panned the rosy faces of the fans braving the subzero temperatures, I thought, “There but for the grace of God freeze my balls.”* As the motorcycle, complete with rider, gracefully rotated backward through the air, pausing midrotation long enough for the rider to remove his hands from the bike, then his feet, then take a sandwich from his pocket, take three bites, rewrap the sandwich and replace it in his jacket, take a swig of water, brush and floss his teeth, check his cell phone messages and then complete the rotation, gently touching back down on the snow, the kid standing in front of me turned to his friend and said, disgusted, “That’s IT!?”And I thought I had mayhem-generating issues. I see his point, though life is so much cooler in video games.* While ambling, eyes to the ground, with the crowd from one event to the next, I went to wipe my nose on my glove, and as I did so looked up to see an ESPN camera about 3 feet from my face, pointed right at me, with the camera operator actively focusing on my nasal clearing.At that moment I remembered the statistics I read earlier in the week, about how the X Games is being broadcast live to something like 8,000 countries in three different solar systems.With the entire planet glued to my every move, I executed a smooth frontside 720 lien wipe, followed nicely by a switch Mctwist 540 snot transfer down the side of my pants.Unfortunately, my glove snagged my pocket on the way down and the judge docked me accordingly, which ruined my chances of advancing to the finals. But 2005 will be MY year![Barry Smith is a columnist for The Aspen Times]


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