Amerika, Amerika, über alles …! | AspenTimes.com
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Amerika, Amerika, über alles …!

By gum, that letter writer the other day was right. Way right! It is time for all decent Americans to stand up for the principles that make this country great.

It is time to make deviant and immoral behavior unacceptable. It’s time to show that we think lying, stealing and cheating, as demonstrated by our great leaders, is the normal and right way to live.

We must continue to prevent big guv’mint from undertaking economic activities best left to private interests, such as illegally invading a foreign country just to help friends and business partners make a huge profit.



We need to cut social services, like Social Security (heck, we could use the money in that account to invade Iran next!) and education. If you can’t afford to send your kids to private school, too bad! You’ll be able send ’em to work once we get rid of those pesky, interferin’ Federal child labor laws. Then they can help support the family with that buck or two an hour they will bring in.

And housing? Who needs it? Anyone lucky enough to have a job in Aspen can damn well be happy living in a tent out toward Meeker somewhere. They can pay a toll to drive in here every day – yup, tollways, ’cause we’re gonna get them damn Feds out of the highway construction bizness, too. Pay as ya go, folks; but not to fret: there won’t be any taxes to pay so you’ll be saving money!




And I agree that private property should be sacrosanct. Heck, if I wanna earn a few bucks storing toxic waste on my property right above the ditch that carries water to the treatment plant, it’s my bizness and no one else’s. Just like if I fire my rifle when standin’ on my property is my own damn bizness; it don’t matter to me where the bullet ends up.

And durn tootin’ we gotta stop the use of illegal drugs. ‘Cause you know it’s a lot more important to put some joint-smoking, snack-eating, giggling hippy in prison than it is to punish some CEO and his corporados for stealin’ millions of dollars from their investors.

And if you’ve lost your retirement fund because of “bad investments,” don’t go askin’ that CEO about his three houses in Aspen, his mansion in Texas, his villa on the French Riviera, his yacht, his private jet, his fleet of luxury automobiles, his 342 offshore bank accounts, or his close ties to our brilliant leader. No sirree, just drop trou, turn around, bend over and take it like an American taxpayer.

Yup, every day I give thanks, just like every other Satan-worshiper in this once-great country, that we have such a fine cabal of evil scum running the place, selling us out, trashing the Constitution, and making the 2 percent of us who control 80 percent of the wealth even more money. Amerika, Amerika, über alles …!

“Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.” – Samuel Johnson

Agustin Goba

Snowmass Village