All that glitters … | AspenTimes.com
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All that glitters …

Dear Editor:

Cruising the Hyman Mall the other day, I was just so “delighted” to see just how much authenticity and allure count in the service of frugality ” new, faux-gold signs on our historic and beloved Wheeler Opera House, Bentley’s and the box office.

So, as “Aspen’s Sign Painter” for almost 40 years, I want to commend the mean and penurious leadership of the arguably deep-pocketed Wheeler for saving a few bucks in their use of “fake” vinyl fold in place of the real thing on Bentley’s new window signs (which I did in real 23-karat gold leaf over 20 years ago ” I also designed the logo which they use, but for which I’ve never been paid!).



And next door at the box office ” I think the Aspen citizenry is all in accord ” we can wallow in the warmth of a dollar saved in the garish, half-acre expanse of real, “fake,” engine-turned, vinyl gold splash on their window … its radiance, its sheer eminence, its auroral prominence! It surely would out-shine any fluorescent strip-mall sign out there in middle America! See it for yourself! Now! Don’t wait!

I think the next logical step would be to scrape the real gold leaf on the beautifully historically preserved Wheeler theater ceiling and sell it off to build more opera house in the park next door. But wait, please replace the real golf leaf ceiling with some authentic black Chinese velvet, some silver tinsel and Wal-Mart glitter!




Hurrah!

And while I’ve got the soapbox, nice job Burberry’s at the other end of the mall (think: the old Ute City Banque) … more “authentic” faux gold on their windows (they probably didn’t sell enough $200 scarves on NYC’s 5th Avenue to afford the real thing in Aspen). And their hanging signs ” wow! A wonder of elemental simplicity. I bet you saved a-plenty on those, too!

And there you have it … Aspen’s billion dollar mall-bookends!

Gaard Moses

Aspen