A poop poem | AspenTimes.com

A poop poem

Dear Editor:

It’s a new year in Aspen.

Let’s start off on a clean slate.

If there wasn’t as much dog poop around,

That would be really great!

There needs to be more enforcement as to what the law clearly states,

Maybe if animal control wrote out more citations,

we could go back to cheaper parking rates!

That “whatever” attitude of those in question,

really makes me quiver.

Do they have any idea that all of that poop,

ends up in our streams and rivers?

Hey puppy! It’s not your fault

you don’t know how to use the potty,

But when I point out that nugget to your human,

they can get pretty mean and snotty!

“Oh no! Not my pooch!” They begin to holler.

“Oh yes it was! “I respond. “I bet you a million dollars!”

“I was on my cell phone!” They tell me with a smug smile.

“Good answer!” I say to them, “You are completely in denial!”

It’s a shame that a handful of you

make dog owners seem so gross and lazy.

To walk past it and not pick it up,

You must be freakin’ crazy!

The next time my kid comes home

with poop on her shoe,

I will call you out in public

and make a total fool out of you!

People let’s get it together for our pretty little town.

Please pick up that dog poop that is left all over the ground.

B. Ostrander


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