82 done? You’re kidding | AspenTimes.com

82 done? You’re kidding

Dear Editor:Wait. The seemingly ever-widening gyre of Highway 82 is done? The four-lane is completed? You mean, ah, that the Buttermilk Narrows is here to stay? Or was this treacherous crossing purpose-built (or left un-built on purpose), designated to be some kind of future checkpoint where liberal ski and board bums will be frisked and strip searched for rolling papers and politically incorrect attitudes? I can already imagine Kenny Lay out there on work release and good behavior, wheeling a long black flashlight and a taser gun while lowering a cut crystal barrier. Or has this asphalt funnel been preserved to slow up the 18-wheelers and the dump trucks and the slave ships sailing down what is essentially a super highway into a box canyon? Was this the original plan or did we just run out of money? How long have I been sleeping? Highway 82 can’t really be done, right? Tell me this is a joke. Or that some ringleader from the Colorado State Circus is going to blow up an inflatable train so we can all ride into town on hot air. Because we already know how many downvalley clowns can fit into a Volkswagen.Patrick HasburghAspen


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