Aspen Untucked: Praying for snow
Dear Snow Gods,
Hello, how are you? I hope this letter reaches you. I had to go through some unorthodox methods to send it. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that, as I write this, we are only six days away from Thanksgiving (or opening day in Aspen, as we like to call it). But, I don’t need to tell you that, right? You must know the date. It’s just that, I’m starting to wonder. Because the days are quite warm and the ground is mostly brown. And, frankly, time is running out.
Now, Powder Lords, I’m not trying to say that you’re blowing it. You must have some kind of method to ensure our slopes get substantially covered from end of November until mid-April. You’ve done a great job in the past few seasons, but this year things are a bit dry, and we’re getting nervous.
Can you believe that I sat outside tanning the other day? OK, not actually, because my complexion is as white as the snow that we don’t have. But, my point is it was hella warm, so much so that a person who tans well could have gotten a great one by sitting outside. That’s just not right, Almighty Frost Holders. We should be wrapping ourselves in layers and sipping hot cocoa by the fireplace right about now. I want to be shoveling my driveway and scraping ice off my windshield, not washing mud from my shoes and sporting shorts in town.
Maybe I’m overreacting. I keep getting alerts on my phone saying a storm is coming. I sure hope so because we have lots of people coming to town for opening day. Apparently, occupancy numbers are close to 50 percent for Aspen and Snowmass Village. That’s not Christmas-time numbers, but it’s still a crowd. And that crowd will be incredibly disappointed if the mountain doesn’t even open because no snow has fallen from the sky, and it’s too warm for Skico to even make the stuff. Do you want that on your consciences? I’m certain you do not.
Have we done something wrong, Blizzard Deities? Is this your way of smiting us? You are gods, after all. You can do that. But, we’re supposed to have a good season. Cory Gates with Aspenweather.net (you guys talk, right?) predicted that we would have a “normal to slightly above normal” snowfall in the valley this season. But, from where I stand, this ain’t average. It’s pretty low-grade.
Do you see what I’m getting at here, Precipitation Creators? You’re simply not delivering. This isn’t to say your intentions aren’t pure. Maybe you’re just a little slow getting to the things on your to do list this year. That’s why I wrote this letter, just as a little reminder to get that snow falling.
Well, I’ll leave it at that. I’m sure you all have plenty to do (make it snow, cough, cough). I’ll end by saying I’m a huge fan of your work. You guys do great things. Oh, and, if you could put a good word in for me with the big guy in red for Christmas, it would be much appreciated. I’m hoping for a pair of new skis.
Yours always and forever,
Barbara Platts would like to make it clear that she does not actually believe in Snow Gods. But, if you happen to know any, please don’t tell them that. She does not wish to offend. Reach her at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @BarbaraPlatts.
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