Truth in advertising | AspenTimes.com

Truth in advertising

Dear Editor:Jay Leno does a recurring comedy bit on his TV show in which he pitches products on the premise that “truth in advertising” is actually enforced. You get to hear what ads for products would really say if they were required to be truthful.In the spirit of the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival, here’s what the City of Aspen’s newspaper ad titled “THE ENTRANCE TO ASPEN – AFTER 37 YEARS AND 26 VOTES – The City of Aspen wants to know – WHERE SHOULD WE GO FROM HERE?” (Whew!), would say if the city conformed to truth in advertising:”The City of Aspen knows that most of its citizens would like to four-lane the Entrance to Aspen, with lanes everyone can use, in order to reduce the congestion we have today. That’s why we’re doing everything we can to prevent that from happening, and have organized another phony public process to reach the predetermined outcome we have decreed.After all, as long as we have an artificial traffic jam, we can probably continue to sell more of our favorite product – mass transportation. Think of the job security for all of our friends in cushy administrative positions, not to mention the opportunities for former government employees making big bundles in the private consulting industry!We hope everyone appreciates our efforts, because quite frankly, it hasn’t been easy. We had to block a citizens group from circulating a petition for a binding vote on the entrance – while claiming to want public input at the same time! We were a little worried about that one for awhile, but thanks to the political coma most Aspenites prefer, you’ve given us the confidence we need to be even more outrageous.We’re so confident that we now blatantly promote our “Preferred Alternative,” as “the most likely solution that could be implemented quickly.” We trust the people of Aspen not to ask the question, “Solution to what?” because it sure wouldn’t be the traffic jam!As for the real solution, the one which could actually relieve congestion and gain the “broad community support” we say we want, we are now claiming that it would cost an additional “$2 million and two years time” just to produce the paperwork to make that plan possible. Wow, $2 million and two years time, just to recommend signs that say “HOV” instead of “Buses Only.” Don’t you wish you worked for the transportation planning industry?So come to our meeting and see how modern democracy really works – false claims, misleading statistics, red herrings, invalid comparisons, facilitator orchestrations, and predetermined outcomes will all be on display for your enjoyment.RSVP to http://www.aspenpitkin.com and click on SIGN UP FOR VOICES ON THE ENTRANCE link. Call 920-5082 if you don’t have Internet.”Jeffrey EvansSouthern Basalt

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