Fountain of boredom | AspenTimes.com

Fountain of boredom

Dear Editor:

At a time when there isn’t any good news anywhere about anything and people have to work to keep their spirits up, I’d like to make a suggestion that could bring a bit of cheer to the streets of Aspen. Get someone else to program the fountain. Whoever is in charge of it now gets a “D minus.”

I’m told the Fountain Goddess has decided the fountain should be appreciated for its aesthetic mathematical wonderfulness, which was created by a couple or three geniuses with four Ph.D.s in math, physics, chaos theory and classical music. I’ve got news for the goddess: Those guys not only used to enjoy the fountain, but play in it with the kids back when it was programmed to be graceful – not splashie-on-and-off-jerky-mean-angry-jets-of-emotionless-boringness.

Not that many years ago I had seen crowds of a hundred or more people sitting and standing around the fountain late in the day when the sun was low and the light rich and golden, watching the children place different colored balloons on the full-bodied streams of water. Sometimes every jet of water was high with a balloon on top with the light shining through the drops giving the impressions of waterfalls of crystals. It relaxed people and the happiness of the children put people at peace.

In spite of the goddess’ attempt to thwart the children from enjoying the fountain, they still have fun running through it and playing Russian roulette with the mathematical genius of the patterns. But something is missing. A lot is missing this year, in fact. That fountain used to be something everyone of all ages and backgrounds could enjoy and relax around. This year mothers, nannies, baby-sitters and sundry visitors tired from the altitude slouch around on the chairs with bored looks on their faces happy that the children are enjoying themselves … amen.

The fountain used to have humanity and pleased the soul. Now it’s just a bitch and I wish someone could do something about it. And what kind of nut am I? I’m the nut who has been smelling the roses the past 30 years.

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Pat Milligan

Aspen

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