February 12, 2004
“Artificial” is absolutely intrinsic to the Aspen lifestyle. Many of us
moved from large cities so that we could see, smell, feel artificial grass. (Turf is a pejorative term.) It’s grass. Only it’s manufactured from uncontaminated chemicals.
But the idea needs some embellishment. Perhaps a dandelion. Not too
many. Not the whole park. That would appear wild, forbidding. But a few here and there. Perhaps some geraniums. (The South Koreans fabricate authentic inexpensive geraniums.) And the New York Museum of Natural History is anxious to dispose of a few stuffed animals. (African wildebeest are not elk, but from a distance …
Then a few artificial turds so that real people can race on the ersatz grass, dance on it, sink steel in it, shade it with tents and dispose of pleasantly scented artificial s–t. Surely people from big cities everywhere will be made to feel at home.
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