ASPEN - If it's Christmastime in Aspen, you can bet the paparazzi representing the tabloid magazines and gossip websites are in the area, staking out their prey.
And, of course, we're playing right into their hands by regurgitating their ridiculous tripe.
This year, it seems fewer celebrities are trolling the icy streets and snowy sidewalks of the city. Or maybe most of them are just getting better at not getting spotted.
There's plenty of time between now and New Year's Day for another celebrity sighting or two (or three). We'll be sure to check the Pitkin County Jail inmate log daily just to cover all our bases.
Here's a sampling of what's been "reported" so far:
Under the headline "Puss in ski boots!" The Daily Mail poked a little fun at Banderas - a regular presence in A-town this time of year - and his bright-orange jumpsuit.
Indeed, the photos show the 52-year-old looking more like a public-works employee or a prison trustee than a sometimes-noteworthy actor-director-producer.
The tabloid noted his prowess on the slopes of Aspen.
"He expertly conducted some parallel turns as he whizzed down the slope," the article read, adding, "He certainly turned heads thanks to his outfit."
The newspaper noted that after hitting the slopes, Banderas went on a last-minute shopping spree.
"Looking as though he had headed straight from the ski slopes to the shops, Antonio splashed the cash at Ralph Lauren and Loro Piana before leaving laden with bags. Although the star looked pleased with himself as he emerged from the designer store, he was no doubt having a mild panic at leaving his Christmas purchases until the last minute," the article concluded.
Hilton made her local presence known with a Tweet last week.
"Aspen is so beautiful. Feel so happy and blessed to be here," she wrote.
But The Daily Mail didn't leave it to the princess of the gossip sites to report her own whereabouts.
"Another day at the ski resort means another outlandish fashion choice for Paris Hilton," a story read. "The heiress was seen at the Paradise Bakery in Aspen, Colorado, on Friday night in a pair of extraordinary denim and leather combination jeans. And to confuse matters even more, the 32-year-old was also enjoying an ice cream, despite the sub-zero temperatures."
Hilton was carousing around town "with her toyboy boyfriend, River Viiperi, 21, and close friend oil heir Brandon Davis," the tabloid read.
After leaving the bakery with the two friends, "Paris smiled to herself as she sauntered down the street, seemingly oblivious to the stares her wacky get-up were no doubt getting," the article read. "At odds with the 'glamorous' ensemble somewhat, Paris chose a boyband-esqe Beanie hat to cover her long platinum locks."
The website Socialite Life lambasted Carey, who visits Aspen often, for wearing a baggy outfit that featured a black-and-white checkerboard design. The tabloid called it a "tablecloth."
"It's that time of year when all we want to do is sing along to Mariah Carey's Christmas album. Instead, we have to look at pictures of her wearing ... that," a story read.
Carey went Christmas shopping in Aspen last week and is spending the holidays here with family, Socialite Life reported.
The website also showed other photographs of Carey on a different day, wearing blue jeans, a white jacket-vest and brown boots. The pictures show that she seemed happy to strike a few poses for the paparazzi on the snowy sidewalk outside some high-end fashion stores, including Morgenthal Frederics, which sells luxury eyewear.